He had to ask ...
Buying a Gun for Your Wife
By Kathy Jackson
Okay, guys, here is one shooting woman's answer to this perennially recurring
question. Here are the things you need to know and remember as you
shop for a handgun for her.
The best defensive firearm for someone who doesn't want one, or who won't
practice with it, is ...
NONE.
This is true even if the person is someone you love. It is true even if
you really want her to carry a gun, and even if you have picked out a
gun for her and pressured her into taking it. If she does not intend to
practice with it, there is no point in getting her a gun. A gun is nothing
but a dangerous nuisance to someone who is not motivated to learn to use
it properly and well.
Yes, I'm heartless. But it's true anyway.
If this describes your woman, go do something else because the rest of
this article isn't for you.
There is no one best caliber or gun for all women.
Oddly enough, women are all individuals. Asking what
caliber or gun is best for a woman
is exactly the same thing as asking what caliber or gun is
best for a man. And the answer is, "It depends."
While it may be the most important thing about her in your eyes, her sex
is simply not much of an issue when it comes to choosing a gun.
Your woman's physical size (or lack of it) has very little to do with
which caliber will be best for her.
I've seen tiny little women with great big grins on their faces as they
hammered away with full-powered "manly" guns. I've also seen
sturdy-looking Amazon-woman types wincing from what I consider to be mild
recoil. And vice versa, of course.
What I'm getting at here is that it doesn't matter if she weighs 90 pounds
soaking wet or if she's taller than you are and twice as fluffy. Her hand
size will matter when it is time to pick a platform, but the size of her
body isn't going to tell you much that is useful about her tolerance for
recoil or the caliber she'll prefer shooting.
The caliber she'll prefer probably isn't the one you expect.
Some women love big calibers but hate small calibers. Some love .40s and
hate everything else. Some hate .380s but love 9mms. Some find the recoil
of a .40 too spiky for their tastes but find a .45 pleasant to shoot.
Women are individuals, just like men. You can't pick a caliber for her,
or even predict which caliber she'll prefer, because you can't crawl inside
her skin and feel what she feels when she pulls the trigger.
There's more to choosing a gun than caliber!
Here we're really getting into it. Sorry if this bothers anyone's sacred
cows, but even a tiny little woman with tiny little hands doesn't necessarily
need, won't necessarily like, and possibly won't even be able to shoot
a tiny little gun.
There's no point in getting her a .380 to avoid recoil, if the platform
is a straight blowback, super lightweight gun which has lousy sights and
a stiff trigger. A difficult little gun doesn't suddenly become
easy to shoot simply because it eats a lesser caliber. Sights, trigger
pull, basic ergonomics, and weight will all have their effects.
You know this when you're picking out a gun for yourself. You may want
to remember it when you're helping her pick out a gun, too.
Beginners really should start with a .22 -- but that may not be best for
her and her situation.
Another sacred cow here.
All other things being equal, someone who starts out with a .22 is going
to spend less time fighting the flinch,
and will thus find it easier to learn to shoot well. The ammunition is
cheap and plentiful, so you have fewer excuses to avoid the range, and
we all know that more practice is better. It's not as loud as most other
rounds, and so shooting a .22 is generally a more pleasant experience
for newbies who aren't yet accustomed to the sound of gunfire.
So it's great if she can learn on a .22. More people have probably
learned to shoot with a .22 than with any other single caliber.
However.
If she's only going to own one gun of her own, and needs a defense gun,
a .22 is really a poor choice. The .22 is simply not well suited for defense
work. While lots of people have been killed with .22s over the years,
the record shows that the .22 caliber is generally poor at stopping the
attacker (which is the sine qua non for a defense gun).
It is notably easier to learn to shoot with a larger caliber than it is
to improve the terminal ballistics of a .22.
Furthermore, if she's excited about learning to shoot a larger caliber,
it's probably not worth insisting she start with the .22. Let her
learn on the gun she wants to learn on and even if it's a steeper learning
curve she'll be more likely to hike up it.
Size matters.
Hands come in different sizes!
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Hand size, that is. Since women generally have smaller hands than men
generally do, and since most firearms are designed to fit the male hand,
recommendations for women's guns usually focus on guns which are suitable
for people with small hands. If her hands are very small, finding a firearm
which fits her hand might be an issue. It is worthwhile to keep looking
until she finds one that does fit.
Remember, people have different-sized hands. You really cannot
pick out a gun for her without her active involvement because your hands
are not the same as her hands. A gun that fits your
hands quite well might fit her hands like socks on a rooster. She
needs to check gun fit herself
to be certain it fits her hands, and that she can reach and use
all of the controls.
Just as she would always try on a pair of shoes before buying them, she
should try on and, if possible, fire the gun or one like it before you
purchase. Many gun stores and ranges have rental guns. While rental
fees can be expensive, paying them can often save considerable money and
hassle in the long run.
The article titled Trying On a Handgun
explains how to check gun fit.
If she's very petite, and it's rifles or shotguns you're shopping for, check out this list
of long guns suitable for small-statured shooters.
Looks matter.
Guys, your wives and girlfriends wear pretty underthings that they know
no one else is going to see. They wear feminine, lacy underthings even
when they aren't in the mood and have no intention of getting into the
mood.1
Women wear things like that even when no one else will see it simply because
we like to wear pretty things. Pretty things make us happy.
If you want your lady to be happy tucking a gun underneath her clothes
next to her pretty underthings, it's a good idea to help her look for
a pretty gun and a pretty holster to carry it in.
Oh, one more thing: her fashion sense is better than yours. If she
says a flashy gun is pretty, don't argue. It's not a pimp gun if a woman
is wearing it.
There is2
no such thing as a healthy adult woman who cannot be taught to retract
the slide of a semi-automatic handgun.
If yours can't, it's probably because no one has ever shown her the correct
technique. Get her to a class.
Meanwhile, have her check out instructions for using strength-enhancing
gunhandling techniques in the article titled
Rack the Slide.
She doesn't have to carry in her purse.
All other things being equal, on-body carry in a dedicated holster is
a lot more secure than off-body carry in a purse or bag.
If your wife or girlfriend is willing to make minor wardrobe
changes and is stubborn enough to keep trying until she finds the gear
she needs, she can conceal a firearm underneath regular women's clothing
and still look like the attractive woman she is.
Because there are significant advantages to on-body carry, you do yourself
and her a serious disfavor if you simply assume that she will carry in
her purse. She would be better served if you helped her explore the pros
and cons of both types of carry, and then encouraged her to purchase whatever
tools3
she needs in order to make her chosen type of carry work for her.
Read more about every day concealment under feminine clothes in the articles
titled Straight Talk About Curves
and How Do I Hide This Thing?.
Finding a holster is a different ballgame for her than it is for you.
Newsflash: her body is shaped differently than yours. Your cast-off old
holster probably won't work well for her. But there are holster makers
who specialize in women's gear, and it is worthwhile to seek them out.
Read more about choosing a holster in the articles titled
How Do I Hide This Thing?, Straight
Talk About Curves, and Speak the Holster
Maker's Language.
You are probably not the right person to teach her how to shoot the gun
you just bought her.
Yes, really. Sorry.
The article titled, Teach Your Wife to Shoot?
explains my reasoning about this. It boils down to three groups
of problems: safety concerns, instructional difficulties, and emotional
considerations. Of these, safety is the most important (and most often
overlooked) aspect.
Let your range time together be pure shooting fun, without taking on the
instructional burden.